The beauty of life is that it is never too late to fix or change things. There is always time to restructure if something isn’t working. All one has to do is recognise the opportunities, and just run with them. Maybe “opportunities” is too optimistic a word. Things aren’t positive all the time — and it’s understandable too. Why would one change something if it is going just fine? Reasons to change are usually because the current system is wrong.⌘
Living amongst computers and other technical folk, one as young as me tends to forget that there is a life outside all that. A life with people who’re a part of it not because of your skills, but because of the kind of person you are. Sometimes, those same people choose to not be a part of your life because of the kind of person you are. That’s when you’re jolted back to reality that people, as they are, are not black and white. They’re not a boolean output. People are full of greys, and when one such as me spends a good amount of time away from them, they become as predictable as a game of Russian Roulette. Our lives are deeply affected by the people we interact with, and how those interactions go. At the end of the day, man is a social animal — and regardless of how much one tries to isolate oneself, it doesn’t work for too long.⌘
So, when the system fails, it’s time for a change. And that’s been my plan of action that past month or so. There has been restructuring in my personal and professional life. The definition of “personal” means I will not get into that here, but I’m happy to share the rest.⌘
Parting ways with Racked Hosting
It was almost exactly a year ago that I joined Racked Hosting LLC as a designer, and was quickly promoted to team leader/software architect. It’s a fantastic place to work. Of course, I have no other reference for comparison, but I’m quite sure that the work environment there is not easily found in other companies. So, it’s with some regret that I handed in my resignation a week back. It was mostly to step out of a commitment that I felt I could no longer continue without personal harm. I’ve never done too well with authority either, and I realised that the way things were going, something would have clashed soon in the future. I try to avoid conflict as much as possible. Troubles in one aspect of our life usually permeate down to others and cause rifts that would normally not be there. There is no reason to mix our personal and professional lives up.⌘
Therefore, at the moment I’m unemployed. It’s a liberating feeling to not have that kind of responsibility. I’m taking a professional break, to concentrate on the things a regular 20-year old would find important. Going to college, completing my degree with high marks — things like that. I’ve realised that trying to achieve too much too fast means not enjoying each achievement. Trying to do many things at one time might sound glamorous, but it’s a lot more hard work than the rewards can justify. Sure, no hard work goes to waste. But there’s a time and place for everything.⌘
I’m not sure if I want to take up freelancing again. I don’t know if I want to start something of my own. The point is to not over-think things, but to make the correct choices whenever they present themselves. There is no point in worrying when you’ve already left A and headed towards B. The trick is to not screw up at B as well.⌘
More art, less tech
I’ve always considered myself an artist with a technical bent. I gave up my drawing and writing to surround myself with code and (systems) designs. I gave up design for development. I gave up a lot of music to concentrate on becoming technically sound with programming languages and software theory. But it’s at crossroads like these that I question if it was really worth it. Sure, some people know my name because of a new Web 2.0 service I helped make. But now that I’ve started paying attention to myself, I realise that personal satisfaction is way more important when compared to social acceptance than I initially thought.⌘
So I’ve decided to revisit my roots. Twitter is one of the reasons why I’ve stopped writing here, but another was the lack of time. Work and other commitments always got in the way. Now I’ve decided to put aside some time to actually write here. Goodness knows I have enough to say (I chatter my ass off over at Twitter). I’ve also decided to finally get around to finishing the fabled redesign that’s lying in a very incomplete state. I hope to get it done and out before I leave for college in a few months. I did design my home-page after much deliberation. And of course, pay extra attention to my music. It’s a little surreal to learn that people don’t know that I play 4-5 instruments and sing, have been in two bands and have put up more than ten shows. I’m no celebrity by any standard, but you would expect the people who know you a little better than an average stranger to know about the things most important to you.⌘
It takes something big to put in motion a change equally big, and I guess that’s actually what’s ended up happening. Here’s wishing myself best of luck for the next few months. I haven’t extensively planned it, so it’ll be interesting to see how things work out. No goals. Only journeys. Sometimes, to reach somewhere, it’s better to not know that you’re headed that way.⌘